Emily, there is much to really like about this pre-production. You drawings are excellent, there is a clear narrative, the use of sound is great but I am afraid that the editing doesn't quite fit- you have overused "gimmick" edits like irising and wipes which are confusing. Remember that edits create meaning, the meaning of the wipe, for example, is "meanwhile" and they should only be used when you are showing that whilst shot A is happening, shot B is happening too, i.e. "meanwhile". Irising is a genuinely gimmicky edit used mostly be new wave film-makers to accentuate their oddity or deviation from mainstream technique or occasionally to show solitude. To be honest, you need to focus much more on simple cuts or a fade through black where a significant passage of time between shots has elapsed.
Also, the slow zoom is default on i-movie when you import a shot- don't keep it unless you specifically need to to produce an effect. A simple cropped shot is again usually sufficient.
The overall idea, however is very good and has the making of of an excellent short film through which you can show both practical technique and skill and visual generic appropriateness through aspects of mise-n-scene, costume, props and so on.
Emily, there is much to really like about this pre-production. You drawings are excellent, there is a clear narrative, the use of sound is great but I am afraid that the editing doesn't quite fit- you have overused "gimmick" edits like irising and wipes which are confusing. Remember that edits create meaning, the meaning of the wipe, for example, is "meanwhile" and they should only be used when you are showing that whilst shot A is happening, shot B is happening too, i.e. "meanwhile". Irising is a genuinely gimmicky edit used mostly be new wave film-makers to accentuate their oddity or deviation from mainstream technique or occasionally to show solitude. To be honest, you need to focus much more on simple cuts or a fade through black where a significant passage of time between shots has elapsed.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the slow zoom is default on i-movie when you import a shot- don't keep it unless you specifically need to to produce an effect. A simple cropped shot is again usually sufficient.
The overall idea, however is very good and has the making of of an excellent short film through which you can show both practical technique and skill and visual generic appropriateness through aspects of mise-n-scene, costume, props and so on.